


Leave Me Undone

by starkitty



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Love, Minor Character(s), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reylo - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-07 14:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14083296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkitty/pseuds/starkitty
Summary: What happens after The Last Jedi? Picks up right after we see what's left of the rest of our Rebellion aboard the Millenium Falcon. My take on Reylo. xx





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HI THERE! Thank you so so much for taking the time to read this!! This initially started out as a way for me to pass the time when things slowed down at work and now it's my very first Reylo fic. Feedback is always appreciated. :)

“Blast this thing!” Rey’s frustration echoes inside of her sparse room on board the Millennium Falcon. The two identical broken pieces of Luke’s blue lightsaber clatter against the floor as Rey hurtles them against the opposite wall.

The entire Resistance, compromised of 20 people, is on its way toward an Outer Rim planet, Bespin and had been on board the Falcon for the past five days. While the infamous Cloud City no longer existed, Leia had revealed a hunch about an old friend and a possible secret base location. From their reconnaissance reports, the city was more or less abandoned; its main resource of carbonite no longer deemed valuable to the First Order. Lando Calrissian may not have answered their cry for help during the Battle of Crait, but Leia was confident that they could have a chance of rebuilding and reigniting their rebellion spark.

_I don’t have time for this_ Rey admits, desperately to herself. For five days she had attempted to bring the lightsaber back to life.

Her hair sticks to her skin as the sweat collecting at the base of her neck trickles along her back giving her an all too familiar sensation of being back on Jakku. Rey moves to sit on her small bunk and places her head against the wall closing her eyes, feeling the familiar hum of the Falcon against her back. She’s exhausted. In between meeting with the Resistance leaders and blundering miserably at reconstructing the lightsaber, Rey hasn’t had time to think about…

She squeezes her eyes shut, a miserable attempt to will the tears from pooling in her eyes. She sucks in a deep breath.

I failed. I failed everyone. I failed him.

The guilt eats at her. Maybe shutting the Falcon door and consequently their unexplainable bond was a mistake. Being alone is the worst thing that could happen to him... that **is** happening to her. When she extended her hand to him on Ahch-To, Rey felt the most hope for Ben Solo. Seeing a vision of his future had felt so clear and secure. Now, Ben was most likely a shell of himself, with Kylo Ren taking full claim.

She shakes her head, furiously brushing the few tears that escaped onto her cheeks off of her skin, reminding herself to forget about the past and look toward the future, the one that would exist without him. She glances over at the Jedi texts she took from the tree on Ahch-To that she had hidden under her bunk. Rey had tried to read them whenever working on the lightsaber became too infuriatingly complicated. There were illustrations of fighting stances and defensive techniques but nothing explaining how to repair a broken lightsaber.

Rey rolled her shoulders back, turning away from her bunk, and took a step toward the doorway. Instantly, she tensed. The thrumming sound of the Force immediately drowns out any sounds made by the Falcon. Stealing a look over her shoulder she saw an outline of a man, all too familiar to her. She turned away, refusing to look at his face, confusion and anger coursing through her veins.

“I thought I made it very clear that I don’t want to speak to you,” she says, choosing to talk first. She can feel his intense stare, surely filled with longing, as she continues. “Go away!”

Rey reaches out with the Force for the useless lightsaber pieces and grasps them in each hand, readying herself for a fight she knows neither of them wants.

“You think I have a choice.” He didn’t ask a question; it was merely a statement. “I felt you, and then I could see you. That’s all I know Rey.”

Ren’s voice shook slightly, his emotions betraying him.

Rey abruptly spins around; she had to steal a look into his eyes.

The deep circles under Kylo Ren’s eyes appear almost purple, deep and violent. His would-be intimidating stance is slumped over, as if he hasn’t slept well in ages.

“For a light-side user, you seem very angry,” he admits, his dark eyes never leaving her own.

Rey looks down at the lightsaber pieces in her hands and sighs, tossing them to the side and relaxing her posture slightly. “I’m not angry with you, I’m angry with myself.”

He looks away, eyebrows furrowing. After pacing slightly, he finally stares back at her, his gaze scanning her from head to toe. He nods at the broken lightsaber. “You’re not doing it right. You’ll have to try something else.”

Rey almost laughs at his absurdity. “Now you’re giving me advice?”

“What do you want me to say, Rey?”

It unsettles her: how easily he calls her by her name rather than the name appointed to her at their initial meeting: Scavenger. She is unsure of how to address him. Finally, Rey responds, “You could start with an apology.”

“The last thing I owe you is an apology; I saved your life!” He juts out a finger at her, accusingly.

“AND I SAVED YOURS.”

He raises an eyebrow, taking a hesitant step away from her.

Rey recalls his mention of her anger and pauses. “A life for a life; I guess that makes us even.”

Two firm knocks on her door disrupt their conversation, causing Rey to jump back suddenly. Ben immediately moves into a defensive position, unsure of the potential danger that lies on the other end of the bond.

“Rey? General Organa would like to speak with you.” Rose’s muffled voice is heard on the opposite side of the door.

Rey tears her gaze from Ben’s. “Thank you. I’ll be right out,” she shouts back.

Moving back towards her cot, Rey carefully picks up the broken lightsaber parts and puts them back in her bag under the bunk next to the Jedi texts.

“I don’t think we’ll ever be even. Not since you refused to join me and you find me irredeemable.” Kylo Ren responds, remembering that he is supposed to despise her.

Rey stares at him incredulously, and stands up to her full height, “You decided that for yourself with the choices you’ve made! I can’t compel you to change sides, Ben!” She stops suddenly, realizing she had just uttered his given name aloud.

She senses a slight shiver creep through him as he looks down at the floor pointedly. She knows she’s struck a nerve. “If anything, I’m choosing to fight for you,” she says softly but defiantly, reaching her hand out almost identically to that fateful night on Ahch-To.

When he hesitates to reach back, Rey takes ahold of his hand in hers.

Aghast, Ben breathes deeply through his nose. His entire gloved hand dwarfs hers. He wants to rip his gloves off and feel her skin against his. He wants to take her determined face in his hands and feel the warmth on her cheeks.

“The way we keep meeting like this… this bond… it couldn’t have been Snoke. There has to be another reason. It’s getting stronger.” Rey says, plucking up her courage to bring her other hand to rest on top of their intertwined hands.

Ben clears his throat, “Why would you fight for me?” It comes out as a gravely, unsure whisper.

Before she can reply, the tether around their bond snaps and everything is instantly still. The familiar hum of the Millennium Falcon hurtling through hyperspace returns to Rey’s ears and Ben is gone.

She recalls his question and knows her answer: Because no one else will.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren checks in with General Hux about the First Order's desperate attempt to obliterate what's left of the Resistance.

Kylo Ren rotates his head, searching for Rey, but she had disappeared. He is no longer in her presence, their bond inconveniently breaking as if nothing had even happened between the two Force-wielders.

 

He takes in his surroundings recognizing that he’s back on board _The Malevolent_. The sleek, pristine and new First Order Star Destroyer, which serves as his latest headquarters as Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. He runs both gloved hands over his face trying to regain some sense of reality. He never planned on this, on any of it.

 

Rey had disrupted his life and turned it on its head. The way she had talked to him, had _touched_ him made his entire being crumble.

 

The image of her determined face stays with him as he checks in on General Hux at his post on the bridge.

 

“Well? Do you have anything?” Kylo says, impatient with his subordinate. His heavy footsteps cause all of the First Order cadets to jump as they prepare for what is most likely to be yet another argument between the Supreme Leader and the General. His dark cape follows him like a shadow when he moves closer to Hux.

 

The pair had not been getting along, clashing heads at every decision that needed to be made.

 

“Our trackers show no signs of the Resistance or of that Corellian YT freighter,” General Hux responds, without turning his head to acknowledge Ren.

 

Kylo huffs in annoyance, “I thought you were able to track them through lightspeed.”

 

“We are _sir_ , but they seem to have figured that out as they are currently jamming our signals.” Hux says “sir” almost mockingly, as if he were explaining their situation to a naive child.

 

All of the other First Order officers tense, breaths held as they all know their newly appointed Supreme Leader will not easily shrug off Hux’s attempt at belittling.

 

“Fine. Send a droid to get me as soon as you catch even a _speck_ of where they may be,” Ren says shortly, still annoyed yet clearly distracted. He storms out of the bridge and back down the hallway that leads to his chambers.

 

Hux observes Kylo Ren stunned. Usually their conversations turned into an all out brawl of whose ideas were better and why the other was so obviously wrong. Hux knows something was off about Ren. He has his suspicions of course… Ren hasn’t been the same since Supreme Leader Snoke’s murder. Should he have ended Kylo Ren once and for all on the Supremacy?

 

Hux abruptly leaves the bridge, without another word and follows him down the hallway. When Ren turns right toward his quarters, Hux turns left until he finds the door labeled “Security Operations.”

 

The men and women in the room straighten their backs as Hux enters. “Sir?” A First Order security director questions, bowing his head.

 

Hux states with authority, “Give me the security footage of Supreme Leader Snoke’s throne room the night he was killed.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is incredibly short but I promise you the next one is much longer. Thanks for reading! Feedback is always appreciated x


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All right, back to the Resistance! Finally we'll see our faves: Rose, Poe, Finn, Chewie, and Leia! As I've indicated in the tags many of these characters are in the background as I'm focusing on the relationship between Rey and Kylo Ben.  
> Enjoy! This is a longer one...

Rey makes her way towards the cockpit of the Falcon passing multiple Resistance members, who flash shy smiles, her mind reeling with her latest interaction with Ben Solo.

 

She shakes her head in hopes that the memory might relieve itself from her mind. As she rounds a corner, her eyes set sight on the familiar buttons and controls of this place she now considers home. So much time had passed since she had labeled the ship as “garbage” to Finn back on Jakku. She wonders what it must have been like for Ben Solo, most likely growing up on this ship, learning to fly, and exploring the galaxy with his father and Chewbacca before being sent off to Luke’s academy.

_There’s a lot of untold history on board this ship,_ she thinks to herself.

 

Rey is startled from her reverie when she hears the charming voice of Poe Dameron, “Rey! How’d you sleep?” He is seated to the right of Chewbacca, acting as his first mate. A few other Resistance members, including Rose and Finn were also in the cockpit, talking amiably amongst themselves. They nod at Rey when she enters. Rose breaks away from the group to show Rey her bright smile, bounding toward her with her hands on her hips confidently.

 

“Great,” Rey lies.

 

Her stomach churns with the guilt of keeping so many secrets buried from her friends; about the lightsaber, the sacred texts, and about her strange connection to Kylo Ren.

 

She turned to face Rose, placing one hand on her shoulder. “How are you? How are you feeling?”

 

“Never better,” Rose replies gratefully. “Those old Bacta patches we uncovered on Crait worked like a charm.”

 

“We were incredibly lucky. How’s the reverse hyperdrive reactor working? Are you certain it’s made the ship untraceable?” Rey glances at the makeshift machine that was plugged into the main circuit. Rose and Finn had worked on it day and night when Rose had become fully recovered three days ago.

 

“We’re practically invisible,” Rose says beaming at her latest invention. “If my calculations are correct, which they are, it should last us long enough to reach the Outer Rim. The First Order can’t touch us.”

 

“You’re a genius Rose. Have you seen General Organa? I assumed she’d be up here.”

 

“She’s in med bay,” Poe responds, stretching his arms over his head and opening his mouth wider to let out a long yawn. “Would you mind taking over here once you get back? I can swap back with you in an hour.”

 

Chewie let out a growl of agreement.

 

“Of course. Thanks guys; see you later Chewie!” Rey gives a quick wave to her friends as she moves toward the rear of the ship. Finn places a reassuring hand on her shoulder, a shared look passing between them as Rey exits the cockpit.

 

Rey recognizes the lingering scent of bacta solution and fresh soap as she walks into the med bay. General Leia Organa is lying on one of the corner makeshift beds, her eyes closed with an oxygen mask covering her mouth. Her gaze is fixed upon a small photograph that had been propped up against the comm link on the adjourning table as if she is committing it to memory.

 

“I don’t know how much time you have left, considering the severe lack of medical supplies and staff. General, this is the last of the medpacks we have and…” Dr. Kalonia trails off, acknowledging Rey’s entrance into the small space.

 

Rey tries not to react to what she just heard, but her emotions give her away as a concerned frown streaks her face.

 

“General, Dr. Kalonia, I am so sorry to interrupt. I’ll wait outside.” Rey turns to exit the doorway, but is stopped by Leia.

 

“It’s all right Rey; you would have heard about it sooner or later.” The exhaustion overflows in her voice, as she sets the oxygen mask down on the side table.

 

Leia beckons for Rey to sit in the chair beside her, now unoccupied as Dr. Kalonia gives her a meaningful look and slips out of the room. Rey accepts the seat, getting a better view at the photograph that had captured Leia’s attention. It appears to be a young boy, no older than four, resting on the shoulders of a brown-haired Han Solo. Both beings in the photo had their heads tilted back with laughter, apparently not realizing that the photo was being taken. The boy, Rey realized was of course, Ben.

 

Rey’s eyes glimmer fiercely as she blinks away tears.

 

“I know this isn’t easy to hear,” Leia says, leaning over to put her hands over Rey’s clasped ones. The general’s skin is cold and cracked dry with age. “But, my lungs haven’t been working at the capacity they used to be.” She smiles gently at Rey, her eyes crinkling.

 

Rey shakes her head, denial coursing through her. “I have to help somehow… I’ll use the Force, I can…” Leia interrupts her immediately. “You know just as well as I do that that’s not how the Force works.”

 

The truth behind Leia’s words slaps her in the face in one swift strike.

 

Leia observes her carefully, through the Force and with her eyes. Rey realizes they are his: the warm chestnut brown eyes identically match her son’s.

 

Leia stretches closer to her, squinting slightly. There is something familiar there, a tether holding Rey to…

 

Leia’s eyes dilate in recognition. “That’s Ben.” Her son. Her shy, mischievous boy who hugged her too tightly when they had to part and who stayed up too late to study the night sky until his eyelids drooped closed. Her whole galaxy.

 

Rey nods slowly, knowing it is futile to lie to Leia Organa even if she tried. “The Force connects us which is supposedly impossible but it isn’t.” Rey peeks up through her eyelashes at Leia who gives her two quick nods, encouraging her to continue. “The connection feels like…a bridge, only neither of us can choose when to cross it.”

 

Leia bows her head, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Had Luke ever mentioned anything like this to her?

 

She picks up the photo of her son and late husband, caressing a steady hand over their faces. She silently gives it to Rey, knowing she had been stealing glances at it. Rey scanned it and flipped it over, the inscription reading “Ben, age 3, Hanna City.” She propped it back on the table and met Leia’s gaze.

 

“Your son is still there,” Rey whispers, “I’ve talked to him; I’ve felt how conflicted he is. I tried to convince him to come back, to join the Resistance but I couldn’t save him. I fa—”

 

“You did not fail, Rey,” Leia says enunciating carefully and squeezing her hand with every word. “I believe you’ve given him the push he needs, honey: to allow the Light to come back.” She pauses, shrugging her shoulders letting out a wheezing cough, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe no one is capable of saving him. But you know what?” Her eyes twinkle, stars returning to her hopeful face.

 

Rey watches as Leia lies back down on her cot and folds the photograph across her chest.

 

“He’s more than capable of saving himself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thank you all! x


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's check back in on General Hux...

General Hux grits his teeth as he grips his holoscreen watching Kylo Ren slaughter Supreme Leader Snoke and his Praetorian guards for the umpteenth time. His fists clench around the screen the whites of the bone almost splitting through his skin.

 

_Ren is a traitor, committing the highest degree of treason possible,_ Hux angrily thinks to himself, pacing his quarters. _He worked **with** the scavenger girl, not against her! _

He wants to burst out in anguish, a vision of sending Ren’s own lightsaber straight through his stomach flashes in Hux’s mind.

 

Slowly, Hux’s anger dissipates into a horrible grin stretching across his face. He can finally get rid or Ren once and for all! General Armitage Hux would be next in line for the First Order Supreme Leader position and he would have an entire empire to rule, all to himself.

 

Hux knows he isn’t capable of overpowering Kylo Ren in a fight alone. He has to calculate his attack just right. Hux swiftly moves over to another holoscreen to send a message. Pressing several buttons and finally a green one lights up, leaving Hux face-to-face with the Knights of Ren.

 

In the past, the Knights of Ren may have been faithful to one man, but that was no more. Hux had observed Ren send them into exile about a month ago in a fit of paranoia and rage. They were now imprisoned on a satellite orbiting a moon in the Outer Rim.

 

Hux makes eye contact with each of them once they all dutifully remove their individual masks. “This is General Hux of the First Order. Kylo Ren has made himself an enemy of the First Order, by murdering his superior and committing high treason.”

 

Hux quickly sends them the visual proof of the security footage. “My first request as the newly appointed Supreme Leader is for you to find him, arrest him, and sentence him to death. Make him feel it.”

 

Hux watches their reactions carefully. Their faces are stone-like as they observe the security footage. “I will be sending a proper ship to your coordinates immediately.” Hux gives them a glare of triumph. “Use what ever means necessary. Do I make myself clear, gentlemen?”

 

The Knights of Ren promptly salute him, raising their left arms in unison.

 

Hux cuts the transmission; vengeance glazes his face like sweet honey.

 

_Your time as Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, has just run out._

**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very short but we needed General Hux to find the evidence of Ben working with Rey! The next one up is one of my favorites. Another force bond connection to come...


	5. Chapter 5

“Thank you so much,” Rey says graciously to Lieutenant Connix as she motions her toward her new living quarters.

 

“It’s my pleasure. Let me know if you need anything, there’s some extra sheets in the closet.” Connix left Rey to herself, allowing her to get aquatinted with her new space.

 

Rey crosses over the sliding doorway into her room in the underground tunnels below Cloud City. When they had landed, the Resistance was fortunate enough to find the remaining occupants of the planet to be sympathetic to their rebellion cause and welcomed them with open arms. Lando Calrissian was a kind leader, but had faced death by blaster fire for attempting to overthrow the First Order commanders that had taken over the city. Luckily, the First Order no longer occupied the planet and had moved their base elsewhere, leaving the Resistance with a perfect secret base location below the protective layer of hazy gas clouds.

 

Rey undresses into her bedclothes and finds the sheets in the closet to make her bed. She had had a rough day of merely staring at the two pieces of Luke’s lightsaber, willing it to fix itself to no avail. After giving up, Rey made her way to the training compound, accompanied by her trusty quarterstaff and sparred with Finn for a few hours. They had been productive; Rey feels the tense ache of her muscles as she collapses onto the stiff mattress. She throws the small pillow onto the floor in annoyance; she never had such a luxury before in all her years on Jakku. While she was thankful for the kindness of the Resistance, Rey had grown too accustomed to sleeping on a hard surface in her old AT-AT.

 

Just as she’s starting to doze off, Rey bolts upright in her bed, goose bumps raising the hair on her forearms. Something was **very** wrong. Her eyes scour the room frantically. Instantly, shock takes over, as she finds herself no longer in her tiny quarters.

 

Rey looks around the unfamiliar room with all black interiors. There is very minimal décor, a desk, a single chair and a large bed. Wrapped up in the sheets of the bed is none other than Kylo Ren.

 

He’s shaking violently, his body covered in a cold sweat. His eyelids were quivering as he let out little gasps, rising in volume, clearly out of complete and utter terror.

 

Rey’s instincts take over. She moves over to the bed as quickly as she can.

 

“Ben? Ben wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!” She pleads desperately, kneeling over him and shaking his shoulders vigorously.

 

He wakes with a loud gasp, sitting upright and almost knocking Rey off of the bed. His entire body still shakes in panic, his breathing uneven. Rey runs both of her hands up his arms to rest on his shoulders, forcing him to recognize her. As much as she doesn't want to focus on the fact, her mind keeps circling back to the fact that he isn't wearing a shirt.

 

He won’t calm down and instead stares straight at her, his face as pale as the snow that had blanketed Starkiller Base. She takes ahold of one of his hands, still clammy with sweat and places it on her chest over her heart.

 

“This is real, I’m real. It’s only us here, you’re safe.”

 

She repeats the mantra a second time, then a third before deciding that Ben’s heart rate has returned to a normal rhythm.

 

She carefully removes his large hand from her chest, a heat claiming her cheeks as she realized how close in proximity the two of them are.

 

Rey reaches out gently to wipe his damp hair out of his eyes, his brown meeting her hazel. She cups his cheek with one hand, running her forefinger along his jaw.

 

“You had a nightmare,” she said simply.

 

He’s frozen, her statement sinking in. It is almost as if he hasn’t realized she was touching him this intimately.

 

“Rey, I…” Ben croaked.

 

“You don’t have to explain,” she murmurs.

 

There’s a pause as Rey ran her hand through his impossibly soft hair.

 

“It was about Snoke,” Ben admits. “Since I killed him, he’s been in my nightmares even more frequently now. It always starts the same: He has my mother, torturing her into insanity and then he kills her.”

 

His voice cracks on the word “kill.” He gulps, allowing his lungs to fill with air while avoiding Rey’s gaze which now shines with unshed tears.

 

“Now it’s not just my mother… he has you too. Forcing you to your knees next to my mother’s dead body as he repeats his torture.”

 

Rey stares at him. She digests his words as she moves closer to him on the bed. “Ben. None of it was real. Snoke is dead. We’re safe.”

 

He shakes his head to disagree wanting to believe her, his dark eyes growing heavy with sleep and he tries to suppress a yawn.

 

“Will you stay?” It’s nearly a whisper. Rey hesitates considering that she might have imagined his request.

 

Ben’s head falls back against the pillow as Rey watches him. She breathes out a long sigh letting herself give into his offer as she lays her head on the cool pillow next to his her body lying neatly against him on top of the covers.

 

She watches him eventually nod off, his chest rising and falling steadily. He unconsciously nestles his face into her hair sending a warm flutter into Rey’s heart. She peers up to examine his jaw where a light smattering of dark stubble had begun to grow. As she counts the moles and freckles on his face, Rey thinks to herself, amazed:

 

_How in the entire galaxy is this scared, fragile man the Supreme Leader of the First Order?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts! Thanks for reading x

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for reading! Feel free to leave feedback! Much love x


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